27 March 2012

The non-smoking diaries, Part Two

No you haven't missed part one. That was the bit where I was detoxing the nicotine, feeling nauseous, curled up in bed for 2 days, shaking like a shitting dog, sweating and generally being so onerous to those around me who told me, more than once, to get over myself  "as it's only cigarettes". I shall write part one when I feel up to it, but only time will tell if it was worth the effort and missing yet another 7's. Certainly it will be better for me in the long run though a hangover might be preferable to what I have now which is a deep insatiable longing mixed cunningly with the faculties of a rabid dog.

There are definitely different levels of addiction to cigarettes. In fact, on the widely used "Pop culture addict reference scale". A '1' on this scale would be the annoying social smoker who only smokes (mine) when they drink. I hate these turds for a variety of reasons, most of all though is they aren't addicted and I am and don't they just love to mention how they are smoking, socially, all the time. But it's only social. Hahahaha. Leeches - happier in their life of smoking than I am in mine. Then I get home and I have a final cig before bed and realise I only have one left and that makes me anxious because these parasites have stolen my smokes from me and upset my carefully balanced snout buying routine.

A 5 on the scale would be what I call a "Scarface" user - it's all around you anyway and in your particular area of life it's not that unusual. So a student smoking weed would be a 5 - you know it's a bit naughty but it's normal in that environment. Obviously if you are taking vast quantities of illegal drugs and you are a dentist, or a nursery teacher, people may notice (not so much in the case of the latter, I fear, as you have to be on something to get through the day surely?). But if you're a psychotic homicidal maniac in charge of a vicious drug gang then you'll fit right in. Sort of like most people and smoking in polite society - it's no biggie.

There are obviously exceptions, taboos we have placed and continue to grow in society. No one but the morally challenged likes to see animals smoke - certainly since the 1970's anyway. Or kids. Or pregnant women. It used to be a personal choice and it just made a lot of people's teeth go on edge - like babies with pierced ears or Grandparent sex - but perceptions have changed radically over a few short years - remember when we could smoke on planes? If there's ever a case for not smoking that must be it, but no, we crammed into that tube for 12 hours and we smoked our guts out. I think historians will look upon that, and the inability of us to put wheels on suitcases until about 1990, and slap their heads in disbelief. I do that now and I actually agree with a lot of the anti smoking legislation - offices and restaurants are much nicer now - but bars, even the most hardened non-smoker has to agree, have lost something. Let's face it, the sort of person that wanted to ban smoking in bars wasn't really the sort of person that went to them. A man (or woman) having worked all day, they deserve a drink and a smoke if they want one. Cutting that cheap pleasure was just cruel.

Finally in the scale of addictions there are your 10's, usually shown offering their orifices for a vial of crack or a snort of coke, c'mon honey, I gots wotchoo wants, I do anythang for just a taste baby. This is the Renton Detox where you watch babies crawling across the ceiling. Where you pretty much make your drug your #1 priority and all is well - as long as you have it. Cigarettes are not illegal and not really that expensive so we haven't seen whether an addict would offer you his ass for a pack of Marlboro light - but it would really not surprise me. This is the land just before no hope and, as far as nicotine goes, this is where I live and where I am attempting to leave.

No comments:

Post a Comment

We like comments thanks.